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How to break the news of the divorce to your children

Divorce is a tricky, complicated legal proceeding. You want to avoid mistakes, which one Texas man learned after he forged his wife's name on the divorce papers. However, something else you do not want to mess up is how you present the separation to any children you and your spouse share. 

Talking to your kids about your intended divorce is one of the most difficult conversations a person can have. It is critical to do it the right way so your kids can work through their emotions while still respecting both parents. 

Present the divorce together

Both spouses need to sit down together to talk to the kids about the divorce. The separation should not come across as though one party is responsible. You do not want to act bitter or accuse your spouse of anything, you just want to convey the information. Remember, this conversation is not about you and your spouse. It is about your children, and you want to act maturely the entire time. 

Expect any reaction

Kids respond to divorce differently, and their ages can also have an impact. You should prepare for your kids to cry or run off to their rooms in anger. You should also be ready for odd questions, such as "Does this mean I get two Christmases?" Kids can be egocentric at times, so their first thoughts may be about how this impacts them. Be open to any questions and respond honestly. 

Plan out what to say

You do not want to go into this conversation cold. You should have an idea of what you want to talk about, such as how the two of you tried to work out your problems but feel separating is for the best moving forward. You also want to plan on talking about how you both love your children very much, and how the divorce is in no way their fault. Planning ahead of time ensures you say everything you need to that comforts your kids during this trying time. 

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