Divorce is not an easy process. However, there are certain divorce tools that can help the process, such as mediation.

Before determining if divorce mediation is right in a situation, it is important to understand what the process entails. There are a few key facts to know.

What it is

A divorce is going to take a financial toll on you, but you have some level of control over that toll. Not all divorces have to be long, contentious courtroom affairs. While where you live, geographically, will help determine just how much you spend on your divorce, so, too, will certain decisions you make about how to navigate the process.

While your divorce, itself, can cost a substantial amount of money, so, too, can rebuilding your life in the absence of your spouse. Finding and financing a new home, for example, is one such cost, and you will also no longer be able to split the cost of groceries and related expenses once you and your one-time partner split. So, what are some things you can do to cut costs and save yourself money amid divorce?

Consider mediation

Perhaps you have heard a lot about the benefits of mediation and want to give it a try, but certain myths are holding you back.

These are just three you may believe that are not true. The bottom line is mediation is usually the best choice.

1. You have less protection

Children look forward to summer - and for good reason. They get to have later bedtimes, pool parties and do not need to go to school. But if you are recently divorced, your kids face unique complications during this season. If you and the other parent are not in a healthy co-parenting relationship, it may expose your kids to conflict when they should be relaxing and enjoying themselves.

The first summer after your divorce is complex, but if you approach it with the mindset of putting your kids first, you can make it through with happy memories. Here is how to prioritize the interests of your kids during summer.

1. Avoid power struggles

When you know that your marriage is coming to an end, you have a lot of worries. You may be concerned about potential conflicts and arguments. A contentious split can wreak havoc on your emotions and finances-not to mention how it may impact your children.

However, contrary to popular belief, divorce does not need to be a nasty process. Believe it or not, you can divorce your spouse amicably and peacefully. There is no guaranteed, step-by-step process for a respectful divorce, but here are some guidelines to stop your breakup from getting unnecessarily ugly.

Understand why your divorce is happening without placing blame

Finalizing a divorce is typically a joyous occasion. One Texas woman celebrated her divorce by tying a bunch of explosives to her wedding dress and setting it off.

The end brings a sense of elation. However, you still need to get through the divorce itself, which can be particularly toxic. You may have ended the marriage on bad terms, but you still need to work together with your spouse for the time being. Here are some of the ways to make divorce far more manageable.

Take care of yourself

There are several different factors to consider during a divorce. The division of assets is a strong consideration for both parties.

Thankfully, certain regulations help determine how parties will fare from the division process of the divorce. Regarding pension, there are a few important facts to know.

Handling of property

Let us say you have been offered a promotion at work. It is a wonderful opportunity, but it involves moving to a new office out of state.

As the custodial parent, you want to take your 12-year-old son with you. How does the other parent view the proposed move? Will the court give its consent to modifying your child custody agreement?

Making a change

When divorce is inevitable, most couples dread contentious litigation and the possibility of a bitter outcome.

Mediation is another, quite different option that focuses on effective communication between the parties resulting in a satisfactory agreement and no need to go to court.

How divorce mediation works

It is no secret that divorce comes with a high price tag. From court and legal fees to support payments, costs show up in all parts of the process.

Fortunately, you can mitigate some of these bills. All it takes is awareness, preparation and smart choices.

Common unexpected costs of divorce

If you are going through or finished a divorce, Christmas can be a difficult time. The first holiday season as a single parent can be a struggle for you and your kids. With the other parent absent, your children may be more emotional and need extra comfort.

Navigating the holidays after divorcing your spouse is never easy, but there are some actions you can take to ease the pain. Here are some guidelines for handling your first Christmas after a divorce.

1. Normalize expressing emotions

Many teachers talk to divorced parents during routine conferences. With the new school year now in full swing, many parents have to deal with this, but it does not have to be a contentious issue.

The first conference after a divorce can be awkward. However, by keeping a few simple tips in mind, both spouses can get through it maturely.

Manage emotions

Divorcing your spouse is inevitably complicated, and so, too, is learning to adjust to a joint-custody or similar arrangement that means you will only have your children in your home part of the time. Chances are, you are divorcing your one-time partner because you no longer agree on certain areas or aspects of life, and this can lead to complications when the two of you continue to share parenting time after you split up.

Increasingly, parents who split up but plan to continue to share custody are creating parenting plans to help prevent unnecessary discord and hardship down the line. Essentially, a parenting plan is a written document that sets guidelines you and your former partner agree to follow when it comes to co-parenting after divorce. While you can address an exceedingly broad range of areas in your parenting plan, many divorced couples use them to set guidelines with regard to the following.

Parenting time

Divorce is typically a straightforward process, but there are times when it can become substantially more complicated and heartbreaking. For instance, some couples in Texas have contemplated divorce so that they can afford medical care for their ill or disabled children.

Another factor that can make divorce harder is the litany of myths that persist about the process. In particular, child custody creates a lot of headaches. That is why it is important to separate fact from fiction.

Myth #1: As long as there is equal custody time, neither parent has to pay child support

If you are in the military and are scheduled for deployment, it is natural to wonder if you need to go through legal channels to change your custody order. The best person to ask about your particular situation is your lawyer.

In general, it can be wise to ask a temporary custody order, but you do not necessarily have to.

Custody cannot be permanently changed because of deployment itself but…

When you are in the middle of a divorce, it can seem like everything is out of control. The future that you had planned is suddenly changing, and it can be easy to get sucked into a cycle of bitterness and resentment towards your ex. If you want to minimize conflict and maintain control over your life and divorce, mediation may provide the solution that you have been looking for.

Mediation allows separating couples to avoid court and instead hammer out the details of their divorce in a neutral, mediated environment. According to the American Bar Association, it is generally a shorter process than a litigated divorce, and this means it is also less expensive. How can mediation help you maintain control, too?

1. Prevent narrative from spiraling

The divorce rate has slowly declined in Texas. In 2015, there were only 2.6 divorces for every 1,000 inhabitants, which is down from a divorce rate of 5.5 in 1990.

Before any couple proceeds with the divorce, both people should seriously consider going through mediation. Although many people associate mediation with uncontested divorces, they can be beneficial even if the couple has significant disagreements about how to divide assets. You may decide mediation is best for your divorce after you realize the following common myths are not actually true.

Myth #1: It is easier to simply go through lawyers

When you remarry, it is normal to wonder about the role that your new spouse will play in your children's lives. For example, what say, if any, should the new spouse have in what your children do? Does the spouse weigh in on rules? Do you expect your spouse to help pay for your children?

There are no easy, cut-and-dried answers. What is best depends on many factors and can change considerably in just a short time. Here are some things to think about as you ponder this question.

What your ex's family setup is like

If you are a member of the U.S. Armed Forces, or if you are currently involved in a divorce from a member of the U.S. Armed Forces, you may have questions about the division of military pension once your marriage officially ends. Maybe you have concerns about having to share your pension with your former spouse, or maybe you feel you have a right to at least some of it and want to make sure you understand your future needs with regard to saving.

Regardless of your reason for asking, there are certain rules that govern how couples divide military pension in divorce. In Texas, which is a community property state, any money given to the military retirement account during the marriage becomes the property of both parties. However, any money placed in the account prior to the marriage remains the exclusive property of the military member.

Additional details

If you are contemplating a Texas divorce, your life undoubtedly is in turmoil right now. Not only are all your hopes and dreams crashing around you, you and your spouse likely have numerous issues regarding your children, the possibility of spousal support, and how you will divide your marital property. Nevertheless, it is highly unlikely that either of you looks forward to an expensive, protracted and nasty divorce. Surely there must be a better, less stressful way to split up.

There is. Today, more and more divorcing couples are finding that mediation is the answer they are searching for. Unlike a traditional litigated divorce, mediation lets you and your spouse maintain control over your respective lives by making your own decisions, not leaving those decisions up to a judge.

Hiring a mediator